Of Ideal Weeks and Ends

I have a book in my hand now (as usual), and it looks straight into my eyes and challenges me to let go of intelligence and inhibitions for a page (not very usual). It asks me to actually sit and describe my “ideal day – weekday or weekend” instead of just wishing for a vague one.

So, please close this window full of unedited rambling thoughts and go read something more sensible, intelligent and beautiful.

Doesn’t everyone wish that their ideal life is full of what they currently love to do, and whom they currently love? Careers, ambitions, family-plans, and far off old-age be damned?

No? Well, everyone should – ideally. I do!

My ideal day..

  • Doesn’t see an alarm clock. My over-excited brain wrestles me awake and sends me rolling to try something that it just came up with.
  • I wake up with zero pain, fully rested, eyes wide open,  in an addicted hurry to get back to the ‘high’ of my research project.
  • A bright plateful of something  smelling green, white and yellow, and a tall glassful of something cold and kicking appear magically at my desk. I sprout a third hand that feeds me and wipes my lips.
  • My desk stands up when I do, sits down where I do, and lies down by my side when I need it to.
  • A window streaming in the golden sun, the midnight moon, and the evening breeze to brighten and rustle up my desk.
  • A long wall of white-board – offering its servile back to me to scribble, scratch, and doodle on.
  • A.R.Rahman, Kannadasan, Rafi, and Sahir Ludhianvi croon into my ears, and only my ears.
  • Nobody around to be weirded out by my whistling, and humming, and carrying on colorful conversations with the whiteboard and monitor.
  • I drown hunger, pain, and myself in  a challenging problem.
  • One of those evil people who love me come checking whether I am alive, and drag me back to the ‘real world’ – and I cry, kick, resist, sulk, crib and tantrum as much as I can before being disowned.
  • A slow, elaborate meal that lets me get a satisfying bite of that book from last night.
  • An hour of brainstorming over some ‘exciting’ research problem with the mentor to watch his eyes twinkle; and an extra half hour for ‘coffee’ aka discussing the most random of topics, arguing over the most absurd bits of ‘wisdom gleaned from experience’, and  laughing for reasons that tend to appear out of nowhere.
  • Watching someone express something that strikes a bell in the head – DING!
  • 10 minutes of nonsensical  leg-pulling and grinning with one of the best friends.
  • An intimate walk with the moon, and one welcoming the sun – with either a book, or a thought  for silent company.
  • 5 minutes by a lake, river or ocean – watching waves, ripples, and swooping pigeons.
  • 30 minutes of reading about something or some place or some one totally random – Information-porn and Travel-porn – till guilt of procrastination clicks the close button.
  • Watching people retreat to their beds, the night go by, birds chanting early morning mantras, and people waking up to their days one after another.
  • 10 minutes of letting some words run zig-zag in my head until they settle down, from sheer exhaustion,  into a thought.
  • Having most of the above points shake themselves up and settle in different orders.
  • Reading a book as if finishing that chapter NOW is the only way of preventing the apocalypse scheduled for dawn.
  • Falling asleep – very quickly – with an open book in hand, and an incomplete thought in head.

With a week swaying and flowing thus, let there be no ends. Who wants the week to end when one laughs, sleeps and wonders through it like a toddler?

But yeah.. let there be flash floods disrupting the week’s calm flow – unplanned, unannounced, vanishing as fast as they come.

Flashes of spontaneous brilliance – of a sudden outing to history, a splash of photography, a burst of close-to-the-heart writing.

Yeah.. those days of the weeks, and their bookish sleepy ends – ideal enough for now.

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Pretentiously Profound – Just Saying : #3

For what are ‘Pretentious Profundities’ and the list till now, look here.

Tolerance is the most reliable metric of state of mind.
The difference between how you tolerated morons a year back and how you (don’t) tolerate morons now..
The difference between wanting to simply mess with morons for a sadistic laugh and wanting to kick their butts to watch them roll down the stairs..
Is the difference between being smugly annoying and easily annoyed..
And the difference between growing up and growing depressed.
Only test condition required to be maintained : Morons!

Pretentiously Profound – Just Saying : #2

For what are ‘Pretentious Profundities’ and the list till now, look here.

Treasure and appreciate the simple morons in your life.

If you let them go..

They may get replaced by insecure judgemental morons who are pathologically incapable of shutting up or seeking attention.

Scary!

Pretentiously Profound – Just Saying : #1

For what are ‘Pretentious Profundities’ and the list till now, look here.

 

Some people are stupid.

Most are just ignorant.

Some ignorant people are not capable.

Some ignorant people don’t have access to knowledge.

Most ignorant people are just too lazy to learn.

So..

Always..

Figure out which type each moron is, before choosing between judging and tolerating.

Chances are..

You won’t have to tolerate most!

Google failed you, eh?

You asked Google to help you with something and it pointed you to my useless blog, leaving your query hanging unanswered?

Let me help you, as I am the sweetest person ever.

So, the most of you land here looking for answers to one of three problems..

a) Is one slap considered domestic violence? Answer : YES!

b) How to talk intelligent? Answer : By not talking, but nodding and smiling.

c) Is there a woman behind every successful man? Answer : Not necessarily.

And that leaves the rest of you.. with your special queries.. still roaming around ignorant.

Let us address your issues one by one, shall we?

  • why do you like me Answer : Because you know that I don’t.
  • well aren’t you smart Answer : Yeaaah.. that I am.
  • anti-rape laws scary or men Answer : Neither. Don’t be scared.
  • naive girl let me see Answer : see what? Naiiiiive girl!!
  • why would a girl call me naive looking Answer : Awwwwww.. she was so right!
  • can you settle down with a girl at 13 Answer : Hell, No!
  • what does it mean when you share accounts with a girl Answer : It means that you need to grow up.
  • उस touche mash Answer : Pardon me?!
  • eagarly waiting reply back Answer : Naaw.. You should go sleep.
  • hey mister want to play Answer : Na.. I’d rather watch.
  • pleasantly sarcastic or insult with a smile? hmmm, choices… Answer : I KNOWWW.. Right?
  • how to be sarcastic about your son in law Answer : Now, that is tricky.
  • fetish for sarcastic girls Answer : Ah.. that one’s new. Good for you! [not sarcastic [no.. kidding]]
  • what would your poor & naive girlfriend say is she knew about me & you?. Answer : I’d like to know too.
  • my mother smoking beedi Answer : Buy her cigarettes, baby.
  • aunty sat on her scooter Answer : And then?
  • every successful man has a woman’s behind. Answer : Wouldn’t know. I don’t look at successful men’s behinds.

And there are those of you to whom I owe a sincere apology.

You wanted “desi sexy sleeping girl photo”, “real sexy girl in delhi”, “girlsex”, “indian .hostel .girlsex” and so on, and stupid Google showed you over to me! I mean.. ME!

Sorry folks.. really. I shouldn’t have had ‘girl’ on my blog’s name, and shouldn’t have called sunrise colors sexy.

Sorry about that.

Nice meeting you, anyway.

P.S. Yep, those were all search queries that have led to this blog! Really! [rolling eyes with you]