Wait a sec..

So, this country doesn’t offer safe roads and public spaces for women.

Fine.

Does it, for men?

Last I checked – men get mugged, robbed, murdered, run down by imported cars on the roads of this country.

If women get raped, men get beat up and shot at – even in bright day-light, right on the road.. road rage, anyone?

If it is an inhuman violation to rape a woman, and it makes our hearts go out to her.. It is just as inhuman a violation to strip and beat up a man? Hearts don’t go out to him?

And men get just as harassed by the police as women do.

Plus, the judiciary is impartial – it delays and denies justice to men and women, alike.

Did all that change while I was in hibernation? Or am I missing something?

Oh wait.. so, is the difference that homosexuality is still a concept of the hidden minority in this country and men don’t get bundled up into a vehicle and gang-raped?

Oh no, oh no, oh no… It is about ‘honour’! It is about ‘polluting’ the women of this country – the property of the honorable, culture-abiding families of this country!

I’m soooooo sorry I took so long to get that simple point. Really, I’m terribly sorry for being such a dumb-head.. I really am!

P.S. : Now, please don’t remind me of female foeticide and dowry killings – I’m really tired of listening to that at every mention of ‘Indian women’. I’m only talking about problems that pepper spray, self-defense classes and random mobile apps for ‘safety’ allegedly solve!

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5 thoughts on “Wait a sec..

  1. Yesterday I prepared pizza, my friend after having tasted it, started complaining about the burger I had prepared the day before! She said “Dude the burger is horrible. So, your kitchen doesn’t offer very good pizzas, but what about the burger. I strongly advocate you start mastering the art of preparing burgers. I am offended that you don’t care about the way you prepare a burger”
    It made me wonder, should I stop wondering how to prepare a pizza — totally neglect it, or should I treat both pizza and burger the same? Though both are really good food – I know each has its own taste, its own set of ingredients – if I know the way a good burger is prepared, will I automatically know a good way a pizza is prepared?
    I also wonder why she thinks I don’t care about burgers! I do — my heart goes out when a burger does not turn out to be good in the same way when a pizza does not turn out to be good. I am a slow learner — given that I carry a baggage of thinking/preparing which has seasoned over more than tens of centuries — given that all parts of my body dont operate at the same frequency.
    I need her support, than just saying this is wrong, to help me change, to help me prepare good pizzas and burgers, as if they were one single entity. I am trying to take steps — might be wrong, but I am trying to take a step.
    Hope she understands as I very well understand her points. Change cannot happen in a second.

    • As CS researcher bakers such as you should know, initial conditions are important in certain optimization problems. Start at the wrong point, and no number of iterations and step sizes can get you out of terrible local minima that you descend into! I have no issues with your recipes.. I have a major issue with your raw ingredients!

      On a more serious note : This would be the last time that I entertain contrived spam-ish comments without identities revealed! NOT funny, NOT smart. The next time, you’d get a sound lashing – no kidding.

      • Since it took a turn I hadn’t expected and since you think person is important than the questions asked, maybe you have a point. I request you to delete my previous comment and not accept this one.

  2. Men are much more likely to be victims of violence, everywhere in the world as far as I know. And yes, this problem should get more attention – often you almost get the impression that men are disposable: “200 dead, including 30 women and children” is a very common type of headline. A honest headline for that event would be: “200 dead, mostly adult males.”, instead we get all the focus on those who make out 15% of the victims.

    I *don’t* think it’s helpful to bring violence-against-men up when rape or sexual abuse of women is the topic. Both are problems, and both should be dealt with – but if you bring it up on such an occasion, it quickly becomes “oppression-olympics” http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Oppression_Olympics that is, it tends to come off sounding like “sure your risk of getting raped may be higher, but my risk of getting killed is higher, so shut up and accept it”

    But where’s the thousands marching in protests against some innocent male assaulted and killed on the streets of India ? I don’t know of such a case — because they’re typically not publicised much, but it’d be odd if that doesn’t happen every month, perhaps every week. Where’s the people demanding that this change ?

    As a species, we notice the rare and spectacular, but it’s the mundane and un-noticeable that is really important, statistically speaking. For sure a gang-rape and murder of an innocent is horrible, spectacular and thus attracts attention, but 99% of the rapes in India (or any other country) aren’t like that.

    It’s more comfortable, of course. Because the spectacular crimes are committed by outliers: people who act in ways most of us would -never- act. Confronting “everyday” rape,or sexual harassment, instead, requires us to come face-to-face with behaviours that are familiar to all of us, that is shown by people we know – perhaps even things we’ve done ourselves.

    Most of us will (luckily!) never experience anyone in our surroundings being gang-raped and murdered. But how often do we experience unwelcome hands ? How often do guys talk to your breasts ? How often does one hear sexist remarks on the streets ? How often does a guy make a second or third try when his hands are rejected as unwelcome the first time ? Confronting and changing -these- kinds of things is what would really help.

    But that would require talking to your friend, the one who always whistles at girls. Instead of being horrified at far-away “criminals” that you can de-humanize and call for stronger punishments on.

    Your friend likely doesn’t need harsh punishments. But he might need to know that the kind of behaviour he’s showing towards women is abusive, and unacceptable. In the absence of such feedback from people he respects, he might think it’s okay, or even that it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

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