No.. Seriously.. What is the point?
I see none.. None of significance, so to say.
[Generalization and undue (not so!) harshness alert. No intentions of being judgemental whatsoever, just pointing out logic]
The average educated, financially independent mother still believes that daughters aged beyond 24 are like hot coal on the ungloved palm and are best handed off – to a strange male hand. She believes that the daughter should dress and behave with friends only in ways such that relatives and society have nothing to gossip about her. The daughter’s wishes, individuality and happiness are important, but doomed to the back burner.
The average educated girl of 25 today, is much worse.
One wants not to tire her brain. All decisions would be made for her by her doting parents – after all they know better. They would do the hard work – perusing dozens of potential bride groom resumes, grading them wrt social status, financial status, educational qualification, religion, caste, sub-caste, horoscope, whether they refuse dowry, but expect the bride to receive gifts as her parents please, the budget of this expected gift etc, and furnishing her the condensed list to choose from. She would then apply her criteria of cuteness and manliness levels, eliminating owners of noses she does not like, and choose a potential groom. Repeat process as many times as it takes for the potential groom to turn actual groom and move over to part 2 in life. From now on, all decisions would be made for her by her loving husband – after all, he is better educated, holds a better job, and obviously knows better! Life now becomes full of “i cant, he would not allow me”, “i cant, he does not like that”, “i have no option, he likes me to be only this way”.
If education does not teach a woman to think, take a stand, have a opinion and live life for herself, what good is it?
Another breed of the educated 25 year old woman is more confusing. She wants to take decisions, but is wary. She is afraid to fall in love, lest her parents object to her choice of life partner and “get her married off” to someone else. If she does find herself falling in love, quite often with an irresistable nice man who knows her well, respects her and loves her for who she is, she is afraid to acknowledge her feelings. For, if she does, the next step involves “confronting” her own loving parents after the misdeed of falling in love. She enters this cycle of switching between ‘no, i am not in love with him. Will marry the random guy my parents produce’ and ‘oh no, i feel i am in love with him. It would be stupid and sad not to marry him. I so want to be with him’. Most often then not, this cycle ends only when her unsuspecting parents “marry her off” to an equally unsuspecting randomly picked groom. Poor lover boy. In this race of being the good traditional daughter and sacrificing happiness for the sake of doting parents’ only wish, he is put through totally unnecessary anxiety and frustrations.
I dont understand how doting parents become dracula parents the moment they know of their daugter being in love? Of what use is the daughter’s education and self-confidence if she cant talk and make them see her point? Or rather, doesn’t even think of attempting it? I would think parents who really care for their child’s happiness would be willing to listen and consider. And most parents of modern day educated, independent girls do care! And if not, their wish need not be considered!
And just what is this “my parents would get me married off to someone else” business? I fail to get how an adult can be forced to get “married off”. With physical abuse? That is illegal and the wedding is moot. Using emotional blackmail? The education should have given you the mental strength to withstand that. With the threat of disowning you and throwing you out? You really dont need parents who are ready to disown you for ego or society and that education that they gave you is enough for you to live on your own. So, how exactly can they get you “married off” without you giving in and consenting?
And there is yet another breed.. More cowardly, more illogical and in the end of it all, more damaged.
The young woman of this breed finds eloping or secretly living with her lover to be a better solution than facing her parents with the truth and convincing them. As if that is going to be very soothing to them! The least you can do to show your love, respect and so called gratitude to your parents is to be upfront with them. Deception hurts them more than disappointment. And the guilt of having deceived hurts you more than the guilt of having disappointed. Did your education not include basic courtesy and psychology? If the education taught only to take hurtful decisions, it better be absent!
So, why do indian women deserve education if it doesn’t add much to their personality and life?
The only conjecture that I can make :
To function as a trophy well-bred for their parents..
To function as an educated and sophisticated eye-candy for their husbands..
To function as fee-free tution teachers for their children..
And for themselves to feel good and proud of their (pointless) college degree and academic achievements and ability to earn for the family!
On the whole… Sad point in the history of Indian society.